Sleepless Nights
by Aragorn75
Summary: The death of Legolas has deeply affected the Last Homely House, leaving its inhabitants in grief. Aragorn, though, is barely able to continue without his best friend. Will he be able to heal?
1. Memories of Night

Disclaimer: I still do not own anything, though I wish I did! Then Aragorn would be all mine.

A/N: I just wanted to experiment with the idea of Legolas's death and the effect it would have on Aragorn as well as everyone else. I don't know how long this will be, yet. We'll see. Please Review!

* * *

The cold, biting wind blew harshly against the tear stained face of the broken ranger. It seemed that ever since the death of his best friend, winter decided to make its presence known much sooner so as to remind the mourner that the icy chill would be nearby for longer than desired. The nights were worse it seemed as they only stood as a constant reminder that the feeling of warmth was always going to be overshadowed by the frigid darkness, and these days, it seemed that only in this darkness could the ranger seek refuge as if it understood what he was feeling. Clutching his cloak tighter to his body, the ranger rose from the place where he was silently sitting, turned his back to the rising sun, and numbly walked away.

After a short time, the Last Homely House was slowly coming into view. The ranger's footsteps over the trodden path were soon surpassed by the rising sound of morning songbirds and other creatures. As Imladris drew nearer, horses could be heard off in the distance accompanied by shouts in elvish of the morning hunters. It seemed that the world was still in motion as though nothing had occurred. Everyone and everything seemed to have found that time stops for no one and that life moves on regardless of circumstance. Despite all of this distraction, the ranger remained unaffected, turning a deaf ear to all that surrounded him as he found himself falling into an endless abyss that was soon swallowing all reality. He did not want to move on…he could not move on as everyone else had.

"Estel?" a concerned voice asked loudly enough to penetrate the occupied mind of the young man.

Pulling himself ever so slowly from his daze, he looked up with empty eyes, barely seeing the dark haired elf in front him. It seemed that Elladan had finally discovered where his brother was disappearing to ever night. Aragorn was always able to return home before anyone came to summon him for breakfast (which, of late, was always left untouched), or at least he thought he was improving his abilities to stay undetected. A deep sigh escaped his lips as he realized that nothing could ever go unnoticed in Elrond's house.

"Estel, father is terribly worried about you. You barely eat. You disappear every night leaving you with little chance to sleep. I know that Legolas' dea--" Elladan's lecture about his brother's well being was suddenly ended when a fist connected with his jaw. Surprised blue eyes met cold gray ones. Aragorn had yet to utter a single syllable, but his feelings were heard loud and clear. Without another glance at his fallen brother, Aragorn continued walking down the path leaving an absolutely speechless elf behind him.

* * *

His pace seemed to have quickened since his confrontation with his brother. Why couldn't his brother see that nothing he said or did would help him? Only his best friend could do that but he was…no, he didn't want to acknowledge what had thrown a hole so deep within his soul. He ignored anyone who came bearing sympathy for his loss. After a while, it all seemed so meaningless since no amount of pity on Middle Earth could assuage Aragorn of his despair and guilt.

Aragorn was so preoccupied with his thoughts that he lost track of time completely. It wasn't until he looked up to see the worried eyes of his father and his other brother at the breakfast table that he realized where he was.

"Estel, ion nin, please sit," Elrond asked politely though Aragorn knew it was more of a demand. Wordlessly, Aragorn pulled out a chair at the opposite end of the table, and sat down. He braced himself for the lecture he was sure to hear from his father. It seemed that the same dialogue arose everyday. Constant worry and eager understanding laced every conversation as Elrond pleaded with his son to see that death was not an end but a beginning, and that he needed to take better care of himself before he was beyond the point of any help. Much to Aragorn's surprise, though his face remained impassive, those words did not come. Instead, Elrond began the morning differently.

"Estel, hunting, as you know, has been very difficult as of late, because of the early approaching winter. It has come to my attention that your help would be very much appreciated. Elrohir and Elladan plan to depart early tomorrow morning. Would you like to accompany them?"

Aragorn could not help but let his eyes show the astonishment at his father's request. It had been three months since Legolas' death and no one had been able to say anything besides a few condolences and speeches about his health. In those three months, Aragorn barely voiced a single word or thought leaving everyone to believe that he had finally succumbed to grief, letting his spirit wander while an empty shell continued living. However, Elrond knew better. He knew that with enough time his son would heal, but he also knew that empty words of comfort would not help his son move on. He learned that well whenever his meager sympathies met deaf ears. Elrond understood that a change in tactic was much needed so by treating Aragorn like a normal person, instead of a fragile vase that might break with the weight of a feather, he hoped that his son would find his way past his grief.

A small voice in Aragorn's head was telling him to take the opportunity to escape for a short time, that it would do him some good to accept change in his daily routine. However, his heart refused, making the man realize that by leaving Imladris he would be leaving his friend behind. Leaving meant moving on and Aragorn was not ready for that just yet. After a few silent moments, Aragorn listened to his heart and shook his head, turning down the request.

Despite his refusal to accompany his brothers on the trip, Elrond believed that he was making progress. A few months prior, Aragorn would have become angered at the idea and fled from the room. Now, he seemed to at least contemplate the notion of living his life and accepting his loss, at least that is what Elrond hoped his son's hesitation meant.

A few minutes passed as silence enveloped the room once again. Without saying anything to excuse himself, Aragorn rose from the table and walked away from his family, leaving them worried for his sanity, as it seemed they still could not make him utter a single word to them.

* * *

"_Please, listen to me, stubborn human. Sleep tonight. I will take watch."_

_The conversation began the same way every night for the past week since Legolas was injured, though he would be ashamed to admit that the cause of his injury was his own horse. Many jokes resulted from that incident as Aragorn could hardly ignore the fact that an elf's horse was spooked. Since that time, Aragorn insisted on his friend resting, as he stood watch in his place, much to Legolas' dismay. _

_However, unlike most nights, Aragorn finally yielded to Legolas' pleas of rest. This only attested to how exceedingly exhausted the human was. As the veil of night crept into the forest, Aragorn at last allowed sleep to overcome him as he lay beneath the brilliant stars…_

_…Aragorn jerked awake suddenly as a strange feeling washed over him. He could not quite understand what had brought him out of his restful slumber. He looked around to see Legolas a little ways away, attentive and crouched, eyes looking around in the darkness of the trees. Aragorn instantly knew that his friend sensed a looming danger. The fact that he wasn't awoken immediately meant that Legolas was not sure that they were personally threatened; at least, that was what Aragorn wanted to believe despite Legolas' impeccable perception. However, in his heart, Aragorn knew that Legolas wanted him to have as much uninterrupted sleep as possible, even if it meant protecting him alone. _

_Suddenly, the air hissed and dark projectiles shot from the woods. Seeing his friend awake, Legolas instantly moved towards him and pinned him to the ground, covering his body in protection. Simultaneously, heavy footfalls could be heard pounding the soft earth as grunting orcs came rushing out of the woods, weapons in hand. _

_Aragorn made a move to rise, when he found that the weight of his friend refused to move. Adrenaline and worry fueled the human, helping him to wiggle out from beneath the blonde elf. When he made it to a sitting position beside his friend he noticed a black arrow embedded in his back near his heart. He wanted to aid his friend who lay half conscious, panting on the ground, but he knew that if he had any chance at all, Aragorn needed to dispose of the orcs first. _

_Renewed energy aided Aragorn in his upcoming battle. He met each orc with a fierce spirit as the need to defend his friend enhanced his drive to stay alive. One particularly large orc was getting the better of him, each blow more forceful than the last, until Aragorn could barely stay focused. He silently cursed his past stubbornness, as his fatigued body grew even weaker._

_His attention was so focused on the orc before him that he did not notice the orc coming up behind him holding a rusty axe overhead to break Aragorn's skull. As the blade was being brought down, he finally was able to defeat the large orc in front of him with a stab to the side and a final slash that decapitated him. He turned suddenly, catching the movement behind him. Before he could register what had happened, the axe finally came down, only Aragorn was not touched. Blonde hair flashed in front of his eyes as a weight leaned against his chest… _

…_Legolas, with a last burst of energy, launched himself in the orc's path with both knives drawn. He would not allow his friend to die so easily, especially by being stabbed in the back, so to speak. With both knives crossed, he caught the axe just before it reached his friend. His injured body almost refused to hold the weight causing him to lean heavily against the body behind him. With Aragorn's support, he was able to successfully fend off the attack and push the orc back before collapsing to the ground. Aragorn quickly took his sword and ran the orc through without a second thought. _

_Finally the battle was done. Bodies littered the ground, black blood shining in the light of the moon. Aragorn looked around in disgust, his thoughts racing, barely comprehending everything that had just happened. His gasping friend brought his mind back to reality._

"_Legolas, mellon nin," Aragorn cried desperately as he knelt down holding his friend's body in his arms. Blood from his back streamed down Aragorn's supporting hand. The arrow was broken, as the man's fingers ran across the splintered wood. It must have broken when he fell against his chest defending him. _

"_Estel…" Legolas could barely speak as his breathing grew shallower and shallower. Blood began to seep from the corner of his mouth as the elf coughed. It was obvious that the damage was fatal and that even an elf could not escape death. His body was slowly shutting down. _

"_Legolas, no! Do not leave me here. You cannot. I will never forgive you if you do." Tears ran down Aragorn's cheeks as he tried desperately to staunch the flow of blood from his friend's back just to feel it continue to slip through his fingers. As skilled a healer as he was, he could not save him. "Lasto beth nin! I will take you to my father. He will heal you and you will be as good as new; you'll see. He can heal anything. Just think of the adventures…" Aragorn's voice broke in desperation as he thought of this being his friend's last adventure. It tore out his heart to know that this was it. As many adventures as they've had, as many scrapes as they had gotten into and escaped from, this was the end. So simple…no glorious death in war fighting for a cause…just a simple hunting trip that went wrong…It was not right!_

"_No…adventures…for me," Legolas rasped, a small hint of a smile on his face. Pain filled eyes laid on the man before him. "Please…mellon…live…s-smile…laugh…f-for-forg-" The last word was interpreted by a violent coughing fit, but Aragorn knew he meant 'forgive'. _

"_Saes, saes…" Desperation laced Aragorn's soft, heartbroken voice._

"_Namarie…gwador…nin." _

_With those last words, Legolas' eyes lost all focus as the life within them faded. The breathing came to an end and the broken body lay still. Aragorn could do nothing but stare at the lifeless eyes. He was completely in shock. Besides a few tears, he could not cry. He did not care anymore as his heart was broken and his soul mourned for the piece that was lost…_

…_He did not know how long he sat there or what happened afterward, but Aragorn's next conscious memory was riding slowly on his horse with Legolas in front of him. They were slowly entering Rivendell when two twin elves came running towards them, worried about the condition of the two friends who always seemed to find trouble. Their faces fell when they saw the condition of the elf and the unexpressed pain in the man's eyes. They stopped in their tracks as they finally understood what happened though unbelievable as it seemed to be. _

_Elrohir composed himself first, walking over to his brother's horse and bringing it to a halt. Quietly, he moved to lift Legolas' body from the horse. However, Aragorn's arm refused to release the blonde elf from his custody. _

_"No..." came a soft, almost inaudible voice. "Do not take him...do not take him away. He needs me. I have to save him..." Aragorn's eyes looked lost as they pleaded with the raven haired elf before him. He looked like a lost soul desperately searching for a reason...a reason for death...a reason for everything._

_"Let me take him, Estel. He does not need..." Elrohir was going to say, 'he does not need your saving anymore', but the words sounded too cruel. Instead, he whispered, "You already saved him. You can do no more."_

_He was surprised at how easy it was as his brother did not put up a fight at all. Worry was etched in his face at Aragorn's sudden unresponsiveness. The man just sat there, head bowed in pain and guilt, as he allowed the dark haired elf to take the body of his best friend. Elrohir was going to say something when his twin came up behind him and put a hand on his shoulder. Understanding the silent words, Elrohir walked away, carrying Legolas' body._

_Elladan mutely walked over to his brother who had yet to move from the horse. He placed a gentle hand on his brother's knee trying to offer support while bringing his brother back to reality. Aragorn barely looked up as he slowly dismounted from the horse. His shaking legs were barely able to support his weight, and it was only a matter of moments before he collapsed into his brother's arms, welcoming the dark escape…_

The memories of that day ran through Aragorn's mind over and over again. Each night, he relived those last moments, as he sat staring off into space in that same clearing where that horrible incident occurred. This was his escape from reality. In this spot he could see his friend again and remind himself of his own guilt. Maybe it was punishment for what he did to the elf. Maybe it was just his way of staying close to his friend. In any case, Aragorn refused sleep so that he could come here, because in his mind, his need for sleep was what caused his friend's death in the first place.

* * *

A few days after his father's offer, Elladan and Elrohir along with a few other elves, departed from Rivendell on their planned hunting trip. Before leaving that morning, the two twin brothers made a special point to bid their brother goodbye. After all, he would undoubtedly avoid them and retreat even further into himself. When they were sure that Aragorn listened to them, they sought out their father intent on securing their brother's safety.

"Ada, we will be leaving shortly," Elladan stated, amusing his father greatly.

"And why, my son, would you have to personally find me to say goodbye. You know that I would never miss sending you both off."

"Ada," Elrohir began. He looked at his twin once more before continuing as if trying to reassure himself that what he was about to say was not an overreaction. "I know that Legolas has only been gone a few months, and I understand the feeling of loss for even pleasant memories haunt me as they only serve to show me what will forever be missing…" Elrohir trailed off as though succumbing to his own thoughts of despair.

"I know. His death has affected us all deeply," Elrond said softly with a deep sorrow in his voice that was almost unbearable to hear. Being a father, he often became overly protective of anyone left in his charge, as was evident in his ease at becoming Aragorn's surrogate father. He had known Legolas since he was an elfling, and because of this, he felt as though he had lost his own child that mournful day. He could easily sympathize with the late elf's father who after the funeral and initial shock, took to retreating within his kingdom, refusing any unnecessary conversation or contact with anyone. In his heart, Elrond knew that he would not soon be free of his grief. The only thing he, himself, could do was continue to live, for the world did not stop for anyone, as he unfortunately learned in his long life.

"Ada?" Elladan asked concerned at his father's blank expression.

"I am sorry. I was just remembering," Elrond said as he waved away his sons' worries.

"We are worried about Estel. He needs help, and I do not think we can give it to him. I don't think we can save him this time," Elladan stated sadly. Silence enveloped the room as all three elves truly felt the impact of those words. Elrond broke it first.

"Estel is still grieving. He does not understand why his friend was taken from, especially an immortal. His whole world has been shattered. We cannot make him well until he accepts our aid," Elrond said this without looking at either of his sons. Instead, his eyes were locked on his desk as though he was trying to convince himself that time would truly heal his son's wounds.

"What do we do in the mean time?" Elrohir asked not at all liking his father's answer.

"We wait. He will come to us. And when he does, we will pick up the pieces," Elrond said with more confidence. Accepting their father's judgment, Elladan and Elrohir left the room in resignation not wanting to wait but knowing they had no other choice. However, they did not know that this hunting trip was the opportunity Elrond was waiting for to finally talk seriously with his son.


	2. The Road to Healing

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

A/N: Thank you, Ranger-Aragorn44, Calenlass Greenleaf1, spiritstallion, and Alix-Jesusfreak, for your wonderful reviews. I believe this will be three chapters only. I am glad you like it. Here's the next chapter. Please Review!

* * *

A soft breeze caressed Aragorn's face as he sat quietly on a small chair on a balcony overlooking the forest before him. His mind was far away, as he drifted through time, until he was solely reliving the past. He was so preoccupied with his thoughts that he started when he heard a voice behind him.

"What are you doing here, all alone, on a beautiful day like today?" Elrond questioned casually as though nothing were bothering his son at all. He hoped that Aragorn would give him at least a one word response. Silence, however, was his only answer. Elrond soon frowned when he realized that there was no answer forthcoming from his son.

"Estel, please, let me help you. Tell me what is wrong?" The elder elf's eyes pleaded with his son to let him in.

Aragorn's resolve was slowly crumbling and his heart begged for the comfort and support of his father, but something kept him from responding. A strong force refused to give in to his father's desires. His mind was beginning to support the idea that since it was impossible to get what he wanted, than no one should be able to find contentment in fulfilled wishes. Aragorn found a distorted pleasure in his refusal to answer as his father's worry seemed to seep through every pore of his skin.

"Estel, he is not coming back." The simple statement caught Aragorn completely off guard. His eyes locked with his father's, surprise clearly written on the man's face. "Why do you feel it necessary to torture yourself so? You have to let him go." The older elf's voice was more forceful this time, refusing to allow his son to retreat any further within himself. It soon became a silent battle to see who would relent first and begin talking. Both started strong, but Elrond was soon growing tired. He knew that he could not force his son to do anything that he did not want. He just thought, or rather hoped, that his son was ready to confide in him and learn to move on with his life. He sighed to himself as he slowly lost all hope of regaining the son he lost the day Legolas died.

"No."

A soft, raspy voice pulled Elrond out of his thoughts. He looked up to see his son staring blankly at the world in front of him as though the answers he sought could be found elsewhere. Then, for the first time in months, Aragorn turned his eyes onto his father, no longer empty but filled with pain, anger, and a desperate need of understanding.

"Estel…" Elrond started but quietly trailed off as he found that the right words simply would not form. He had been desperately trying to get his son to talk since Legolas' death, but now that he had finally achieved his goal, he could not continue the conversation. Before he could think of anything else to say, Aragorn stood and swiftly turned and left his father behind with his thoughts.

* * *

Elrond walked down the long, seemingly endless halls of Imladris searching for his grieving son. The elf lord simply refused to leave him alone after finally getting Aragorn to talk. He almost gave up hope of ever finding his son as it seemed that when the man wanted to disappear from the world, he could do so very easily. Before the elf turned to leave, however, a soft humming could be heard coming from a room at the far end of the hall. Elrond silently walked towards the door. He put his hand on the knob, but at first, did not make any movement to enter. Instead, he listened to the mournful sound of the raspy voice coming from inside. He sighed deeply, and mentally prepared himself for what was to come. It did not go unnoticed to Elrond which room this was. Because of Legolas' frequented visits, he had unofficially named the room his as it was only a few doors down from Aragorn's. Sadness welled up inside the older elf, but he did his best to ignore the pain, as he turned the knob and entered the room.

* * *

Aragorn sat on the forest green blanket that covered the length of the bed. He unconsciously rubbed his hands over the intricate leaf patterns that were decorated in gold across the beautiful fabric. He hummed ever so softly a tune that Legolas had sung to him once, a long time ago…

_…"I miss my family, Legolas. I miss my home. I…miss everything really," Aragorn said to his friend his voice full of emotion. This was the man's first lengthy excursion without the over protectiveness of his father and brothers. He was so excited at first because it was finally time for him to find freedom and develop his own thoughts about the world. He savored each passing moment as he and Legolas rode out of Rivendell. __But now, everything was different. _

_His feelings changed more than he thought they would. For the longest time he always looked to exploring strange, new places and leaving home behind. Now that he was out fulfilling his desires, he wanted nothing more than to be home again. Maybe his heart was still there…'Maybe it always will be,' he thought to himself. His musings came to an end as Legolas spoke._

"_Estel, it is alright to feel nostalgic especially since you have never been gone this long from your family. But you must understand that change is inevitable. One day you will truly have to rely on yourself and live your own life. No one can do it for you. The only person who is with you your entire life is yourself." Legolas' statement served only to depress Aragorn even more. _

"_Thank you, Legolas, for your wisdom. If I ever feel the need to throw myself off a cliff, I know I can count on you to give me a little nudge…right off the edge," Aragorn sarcastically commented. _

"_I am sorry, mellon nin. I forget that you are human. As an elf, we have so long to live that time is irrelevant. It passes rather quickly actually. We do not deeply feel the absence of another because the years we live are long enough to compensate for time apart." By the end of his explanation, Legolas' voice was laced with a deep sadness and regret as the disadvantages of immortality became clearly evident. Because of such a long life, it almost seemed as though elves did not have the capacity to appreciate the little things in life. It was also apparent that Legolas really did not fully understand Aragorn's feelings. Despite this, he offered his support and comfort._

"_Do not worry, mellon nin," Legolas began soothingly, "In time you will learn that goodbyes are never permanent. It is only the link between a departure and future reunion. It will become easier as you become accustomed to life on your own."_

"_What if I don't wish to become accustomed?" Aragorn's question was soft and low and it almost seemed as though it were more to himself rather than his friend. However, Legolas responded anyway._

"_You need not despair, Estel. The world is ever changing. People come, and others go. Even memories of loved ones alter and fade. But one thing remains constant…love. As long as you remember the love in your heart, you will never be alone. Your family will always be there…and so will I." Aragorn looked tearfully at his best friend, gratitude abundant in his eyes. He placed his arm on the blonde elf's shoulder and whispered tenderly, "Hannon le."_

_The stars shined brightly that night in contrast with the darkness of the blackened sky. Aragorn laid down upon his bedroll, staring up into those shimmering lights, feeling as though a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders. A small smile danced across his face._

_Legolas was sitting across the makeshift camp, preparing for first watch when he looked to his friend. He could not help but feel a swell of warmth within him when he saw that the man had finally found a little peace of mind. Softly he began singing a gentle tune that seemed to carry in the mild, nightly breeze. It reached Aragorn's ears as he was succumbing to sleep. The melody was strange for contained within the musical sound was not only peace and tranquility, but also a sense of melancholy and mourning. Aragorn thought it relaxing, yet bewildering. His mind slowly began to wander and finally the veil of darkness claimed his thoughts as he fell into a peaceful slumber…_

Never would Aragorn forget that tune for it seemed to be imprinted in his memory, forever present. That song always brought him peace whenever he was away from home and sorely missing everyone and everything. It reminded him of home…of Legolas. It was that night that he discovered that Legolas was home to him for the elf was a reminder of everyone that loved him. He was his sanctuary.

As Aragorn sat on his friend's bed, humming the timeless melody, tears began to caress the sides of his face as they trailed down his cheeks. His heart was aching for what was lost to him. The song was painfully reminding him of what was not there…his best friend. At first, he found contentment, escaping into the blissfulness of the past memory, but now, reality invaded his thoughts, and the realization that Legolas was no longer there, brought Aragorn out of his reverie. At the same moment, his father entered the room, anguish and worry etched across his features.

"My son…" That was all Elrond could say for he had finally come to realize the true effect Legolas' death had on the young man. His heart broke to see his son so inconsolable and distant. He began to acknowledge the possibility that Aragorn was beyond his aide. Elrond could heal almost any wound, but _'I cannot mend a broken heart…I could not for my wife, and I still cannot for my son,' _he thought bitterly.

Despite the overwhelming urge to give up all hope, a voice inside of him told him to stay strong. A new fire of determination began to burn inside the elf lord's heart. He came to the decision that he would not lose his son the way he lost his wife. He refused to let him go without a fight.

"My son, why do you torment yourself so? You know he would not want this," Elrond cautiously began as he stepped closer to his seated son. Tremendous sympathy was ever present in his eyes as he looked at the broken man before him. He hoped that Aragorn would not run away from him again. Surprisingly, the man remained where he was, not making the slightest attempt to escape. A small sigh of relief escaped Elrond's lips as he moved even closer to him to the point where he stood directly in front of the young man. He looked directly at his son, whose eyes were closed tightly, weighing each aspect of his face.

The man looked terrible as dark circles under his eyes indicated a lack of sleep. It seemed that he was running on empty, as the long days and nights did nothing to ease the man's discomfort. Nightmares surely plagued him as well as memories of that dreadful day. Aragorn was certainly much thinner as was shown in his sunken face and more lines were etched in the once handsome features. The effects of Legolas' death were clearly imprinted on not only the man's heart, but also on his body.

The elf lord's heart ached once again for his son. If only Legolas knew what was happening to his best friend. Elrond slowly kneeled down in front of the man and gently place his hand under the man's chin, raising the slightly hung head. Aragorn's eyes opened and looked deeply into his father's. Elrond took the opportunity to speak to his son again, hoping that his words would reach the distant man.

"Why, Estel? Why must you live in despair? Why do you feel the need to suffer so? Why can you not let him go?" Elrond asked desperately hoping he would finally be answered. After a few minutes, his hope began to fade as he accepted the idea that his son was truly lost to him. He sighed sadly when Aragorn gave no reply, and he moved to stand up. His movement, however, was suddenly halted when he heard an almost inaudible voice. Had it not been for his sharp elven hearing he would probably have completely missed the comment altogether.

"Because I deserve it…"

The words hit Elrond full force as he realized how much pain the man held inside. The guilt must have been devouring every good memory until eventually he would be swallowed whole by the darkness of his mind.

"Estel, Legolas' death was not your fault," Elrond said forcefully, as he kneeled back down in front of his son. Aragorn however, refused to look at the elf. His father saw this and raised his head up once again to look him in the eyes. Again he reiterated, "It was not your fault."  
"I know that!" Aragorn yelled angrily. His voice was still hoarse from its prolonged lack of use. "Don't you think I know that?" Aragorn rose from his seat on the bed, but instead of leaving the room, he paced the floor.

For once, Elrond was glad that his son was angry, if it would help him on the road to healing. He was hoping that Aragorn would say more, but instead he just continued to pace as his pent up anger fought to be released. Elrond refused to let his present progress go, so he tried to keep Aragorn talking.

"If you know that, then why are you not allowing yourself to move on? I know that a great deal of guilt weighs heavily upon you. What is wrong if not that?"

"No, I cannot…I will not…It's not that simple…It's just…" Aragorn could barely form a coherent sentence. His emotions were running rampant and his mind could not seem to comprehend the situation. His pacing quickened and his breathing became faster.

"Estel…Stop it," Elrond asked firmly, attempting to calm his son. "Lasto beth nin! Look at me!"

It was strange, but as soon as his final words were uttered, Aragorn instantly stopped pacing, and in shock, looked over at his father. His eyes grew wide as the memories of Legolas' death were replayed in his mind.

"Estel?" Elrond asked, worry prominent in his voice.

"No…Legolas," Aragorn's voice broke. _. …"Lasto beth nin! I will take you to my father. He will heal you and you will be as good as new; you'll see. He can heal anything. Just think of the adventures…"…_

"Estel, ion nin. What is wrong?" Elrond walked over and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. Aragorn pulled away as if he was burned by the touch.

"No! I failed him, don't you see? He told me to live and laugh again. I told him I'd never forgive him if he left me!" Aragorn cried. "That was the last thing I told him. I can't even fulfill his final wish. I cannot forgive…" Aragorn was so close to breaking at this point that Elrond placed his hands on each shoulder as though trying to anchor the man in reality.

"Legolas did not leave of his own accord. You _can_ forgive him," Elrond said hurriedly trying to make his son understand.

"No…you don't understand," Aragorn said as a desperate sob escaped him.

"Tell me, Estel!"

"I do forgive him. I do! But…" Aragorn hesitated as a few tears ran down his face. "I cannot…I cannot forgive myself." The last words came out in a whisper and finally the man's hold broke and he sobbed in his father's arms. Clutching the elf's robes desperately, Aragorn let everything he was holding inside go.

Every so often words of apology escaped the man's lips, but Elrond quietly held him as he did when the man was younger. With soothing words of elvish, the elf lord was finally able to calm Aragorn until he finally passed out in hisarms. Gently, Elrond carried the man over to Legolas' bed and laid him on top. He removed his boots and tucked him as though he were a child again. He placed a light kiss on the Aragorn's forehead and then silently took a seat next to the bed. Finally, it seemed that Aragorn was accepting his best friend's death. It would take time, but he was on the road to healing.


	3. Reality's Intervention

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

A/N: Thank you ringmarciel, RangerAragorn-44, and spiritstallion for your reviews. I am sorry for the wait but work and school leave little time for fun. Anyways, I might have been a bit untruthful. This story will not be three chapters. Just couldn't end it that fast. I hope you like this chapter though it is a little shorter than usual.

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The morning light streamed through the open window gathering the sleeping figure in its warm embrace. It was clearly the first light of early morning as birds started to chirp outside as they busily began their day. For a moment, everything seemed the same to the drowsy man on the bed. He slowly opened his eyes, and blinked them a few times as he was blinded by the brightness of the sunlight. A low moan escaped his lips as he finally realized where he was and everything that had happened the day before. Despite the embarrassment of crying in his father's arms, Aragorn felt as though a weight had been lifted from his heart. In spite of this, something still weighed heavily on his mind that he couldn't quite identitfy. Before he could even fully comprhend his emotions, he was pulled from his thoughts when he noticed the deep breathing of someone sleeping beside his bed. The first smile in months appeared upon his face at the form of his father slumped uncomfortably in the chair. He watched the elf for a few moments before the slight creak of his bed caused Elrond to jump in surprise, eyes looking quickly for the man he was guarding.

"Good morning, ada," Aragorn whispered softly. His voice was so genuine that Elrond could not help but a feel a swell of happiness at the notion that his son was finally coping.

"Good morning, ion nin! Do my ears deceive me or has my son actually broken his own code of silence?" Elrond could not help but allow his feelings of delight seep into his words. He hoped that his son would not take offence to the slight humor he used. Luckily, he did not. Instead, Aragorn responded rather unexpectedly.

"And I thought you'd be content with my silence. After all, you always said that I talked too much for my own good." Aragorn gave a small chuckle as he spoke.

Elrond responded with wide grin, but his happiness was short-lived. There was something about his son that seemed different. From personal experience, he knew that the day after his break down, he felt a bit more miserable than usual, more from embarrassment and mental tiredness than actual sorrow. It seemed that his son was ignoring everything that happened, and decided that forgetting the past and moving on instantaneously was the only way to find peace. The elf lord truly wished that life was that simple, but he knew that his son was only masking his pain behind a facade that he thought his father would be pleased with. Not wanting to spoil the moment, though, he continued to respond to his son while mentally telling himself to keep a close eye on the man.

"I think it is about time you and I ate something for breakfast," Elrond stated, hoping to take advantage of his son's new and pleasant mood. After all, the man had barely eaten in the months that followed Legolas' death. To the elf lord's satisfaction, the man nodded.

"I'll race you to the kitchen, ada!" Aragorn called out as he darted from the room. Had Legolas not have died a few months prior, Elrond would have thought nothing odd in his son's behavior. Unfortunately, he did indeed know better. With a soft sigh and a silent prayer for help, he stood and left the room in the direction his son went.

* * *

Elrond walked worriedly down the hall following his son's path to the dining room, his mind overwhelmed with concern for his son's health. When he finally arrived, he saw Aragorn animatedly talking with Erestor about what he was to serve for breakfast. The voice of the man rose as the conversation became heated. Elrond stood silently in the doorway and listened.

"I do not want _that_ for breakfast!" Aragorn yelled in obstinacy. "You will never serve it again in this house!"

"But, Estel, they are your favorite," Erestor persisted though the fight was clearly not in his voice. It seemed he understood that the man was not in his right mind at the moment.

"Correction, they _were_ my favorite. I never want to smell or taste them again! Is that understood or would you be more capable of comprehending those words in your own language?" Aragorn angrily spat as a look of horror crossed the elf's face.

Silence filled the room as Erestor hesitated to answer overwhelmed by the man's drastic change in behavior. Seeing his opportunity to intervene, though it took a great deal of strength to retrain himself thus far, Elrond made his presence known to his son.

"Estel, that is enough. Erestor, please leave us." Elrond said forcefully never taking his eyes off his son as he spoke, instilling a sense of trepidation in the man.

With a knowing nod, Erestor wordlessly left the room, but not before casting one last worried gaze on the young man who he had watched grow up in that house. Clearly, he was nowhere near healed from his friend's death.

When the elf finally departed, Elrond stepped closer to his son, trying to keep the anger from his voice and retain a bit of understanding.

"Care to explain what happened?" Elrond inquired though he knew full well what had occurred. The look of anger and defiance in Aragorn's eyes did not diminish as he spoke nastily to his father.

"He tried to serve me food I did not want, and then refused to obey me when I gave him an order. Servants should know their place!"

Even as angry as he was, Aragorn knew he had crossed the line as those final words were uttered. Elrond's eyes flashed with anger and resentment as his mind began to recall the memories of Erestor being supportive and caring when Celebrian first departed. Hurting or not, Aragorn had no right to unleash his anger on Erestor. It seemed that Elrond's patience had reached its limit. The man had spent months not speaking, barely eating, and causing the whole house to worry. Now that Aragorn had found a little release from his grief, he had the audacity to cause others pain. Deep down the elf lord knew that the man was still healing, but it had been months now, and enough was enough.

"Estel, sit down!" Elrond shouted forcefully, eliciting a look of surprise from his son. "I know what you are feeling because I have been in your place. I understand that Legolas has only been—"Aragorn flinched at the name and whispered a small no as though he refused to acknowledge the reality of his friend's death. Elrond noticed this and his anger receded. Knowing what needed to be done, he grabbed his son by the shoulders, forcing the man to look him in the eyes.

"Legolas is dead, Estel. He is not coming back." Elrond's voice was almost emotionless.

Aragorn continued to shake his head. He wanted so much to believe that last night was just a dream, but it seemed that reality was always destroying everything he wanted or cherished…like Legolas.

"No!" Aragorn yelled surprising Elrond. Before the elf lord knew it, the man had fled the room.


	4. Time to Go Home

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1.

A/N: Thank you spiritstallion and Gord and V for your reviews. I live for them seriously. Anyway, I'm sorry about the long wait, but between school and work, time is not very abundant. I have found time over this Thanksgiving holiday to write and for that I am very grateful. Without further ado, here's the final chapter. Not sure if I should add an epilogue or write more based on it. Who knows? Please review.

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Aragorn ran as fast and as hard as he could, trying desperately to escape. His breathing became quicker as he gasped to breathe in the surrounding air as each foot pounded against the path. His emotions were all over the place and he could barely keep the tears at bay. He did not know why he was so upset all of a sudden or why he became so angry with Erestor. What was wrong with him? He ignored his mind and kept running as tears streamed unchecked down his haggard face. His breathing was harder and harder as he tried desperately to escape everything- reality, Imladris, this empty life…

He did not know how long he ran or where he was going until he stopped in the clearing of the woods, panting hunched over with his hands on his knees. He looked up with moist eyes and tear stained cheeks and realized that he was once again in the same clearing where everything happened that horrible night. Memories flashed before him as he relived each tragic second…Legolas smile, lighthearted banter, peaceful sleep, arrows, blood…it was all too much.

He pressed his palms firmly against his eyes as he tried frantically to keep the memories at bay as he fell to his knees. He couldn't breathe. His chest constricted painfully and he could have sworn he heard the sound of his pounding heart breaking.

"I can't do this anymore!" Aragorn screamed in rage at the heavens above him. He bent over and slammed his fists repeatedly into the broken soil beneath him. They were hard and violent as he released the months of agony that he felt with every punch and every scream that tore from his throat. It seemed he had finally reached his limit. He had been hanging by a tether for months, but because of Elrond's pushing, the weakening tie he still had to life, had finally snapped. A door was opened that should have remained untouched and unnoticed. Now a flood of emotion was released that he could not stop. Aragorn needed something desperately; he needed a reason for living. He needed comfort…he needed Legolas!

"Why do you torture me so, Illuvitar? Can you not answer me? What have I done to deserve such a punishment?" Aragorn screamed at the top of his lungs as he stood angrily to his feet. His bloodshot eyes glistened as he ranted and raved. "You allowed an elf to die so undignified and unexpected. You gave him no warning, no reason, no fond farewell. Where were you? Where was the glory that a selfless and proud elf such as he deserved? How could you let him go like that? How could you let him die?" His voice was hoarse and became no more than a whisper. "How could _I _let him die?" With those final words uttered, Aragorn fell to the ground and sobbed like a small child as he hugged his knees to his chest. He rocked back and forth whispering, 'I'm sorry', over and over again.

His pain was so great that he almost missed the soft voice that seemed to drift gently on the breeze. "Oh human, why do you do this to yourself?"

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_It's not possible! _Aragorn's mind yelled as he squeezed his eyes shut tightly. Part of him wanted desperately for it to be true, but he did not think his heart could take it if that voice was just a delusion. He opened his gray eyes and taking a deep breath, stood up and turned around, hoping against all hope that his best friend was truly standing behind him.

"Hello, Estel," the blonde elf warmly said to the astounded man before him.

Aragorn felt as though his heart would burst at the sight of his friend. He was caught somewhere between anger that his friend was so calm about all of this and overjoyed at the prospect of his friend still being alive. He decided to embrace the happiness he felt and began to run towards the young elf before him.

In mere seconds, Aragorn ceased his movements and stopped dead in his tracks, the smile falling from his face. Reality seemed to overcome his fantasy, and he realized that Legolas was truly dead. Nothing could bring him back. The elf cast him a quizzical look and Aragorn slowly raised his hand and laid it on his friend's shoulder. As he expected, his hand fell right through. There was no body, just the form of his lost friend.

"I must be going crazy," Aragorn muttered to himself, confused about what to feel or how to react.

"I assure you, mellon nin, you are certainly not crazy," Legolas stated. After a slight pause, he reconsidered. "Let me rephrase that. You are no more insane than you always were. After all, you were always slightly cracked; I liked you in spite of it."

"But, you can't be here," Aragorn said in disbelief. "You can't. Not after everything that happened…"

"Estel, look at me. I am your friend. I always have been and I always will be." Legolas' gaze pierced the man willing him to believe.

"But you're not real. My hand goes right through you. You…" Aragorn could barely say the word because it was so…final. It would mean that he truly accepted everything that happened. After all the time that his father tried to make him understand, it would truly take the ghost of his friend to admit that nothing would ever be the same again. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he continued. "You died."

"I did." Legolas said matter-of-factly. There was no emotion in his voice but there was a veil of sadness in his eyes.

"Why would Illuvitar torture me this way? Why give me this time with you just to take you away again? I can't lose you again!" Aragorn screamed finally finding his voice. His anger and despair returned full force. The tiny sliver of hope, no matter how impossible it seemed, that his friend was still alive, had vanished.

"It is not fair, Estel, but this moment is all we have. It may not be much, but it is enough."

"Why are you even here?" Aragorn questioned angrily.

"I am here to knock some sense into you. I figured that sending an orc to knock you over the head would not be a very clear sign that I was present. Not to mention, you probably would have had a concussion, been miles from home, and in need of medical care that only Elrond could give. Then you would lose your horse, walk half the way, run into a pack of wolves, sustain more injuries, and then be sickened from infection. Then…"

"I get it, Legolas," Aragorn said exasperated at his friend's humor. "Even in death, you can't help but mock me. You're still just as proud and as prissy as ever."

"Now there's the Aragorn I know and love. That's the man that your family has been missing. You have to live, mellon nin. Live for both of us."

"I can't, not without you. Who is going to get into trouble with me? Who is going to drag me back to father when I'm injured? Who is going to mock my strange human ways? I need you more than you know. There is no life here. There is no life when yours has been taken."

"But there _is_, Aragorn. There is a whole world out there that still moves and thrives. The world does not stop for one person. And that is the ultimate tragedy. The world does _not _stop to grieve when one is lost. It just keeps going…as we all must. Trust me as you once did. I have never lied to you…at least not about anything important. I promise you, mellon nin, it is alright to move on and to live again. I give you my blessing. Life may be a series of disappointments and tragedies, but there is hope, Estel. There is _always_ hope. And I will always be here." Legolas raised his right hand and placed it over his friend's heart. Tears ran down Aragorn's cheeks. After a few moments, his voice came out quiet and hoarse.

"I miss you, Legolas, and I will miss you forever. My heart may never be whole again. I think a part of me died with you that night. But I promise. I promise that I will live my life to the fullest. I will live for you. If my presence in this life can make a difference to one person, then it is worth living. After all, you lived your life and you made the greatest difference in mine. You gave your life for me. It would be shameful for me to cast that sacrifice away. I may not have forever to spend with you, but I have a million memories to relive. And should my mind weaken and those moments fade, my heart will never forget. I love you, gwador nin…and I-I forgive you." Aragorn put his arms around the elf as best he could, knowing full well that he could not truly hug him. Legolas smiled and his voice came out a whisper.

"Iston, mellon nin, iston."

Aragorn allowed himself to let go of his best friend. His heart may have been broken, but it was not beyond repair. He sniffed a couple of times and ignored the tears that still ran down his cheeks. He tried his best to smile at his best friend, but it just would not seem to come. The man just could not let the happiness reach his eyes. The burden may have been lightened, but his best friend was still dead.

"It is time, my friend," Legolas said softly, a sad smile on his face.

"I know. I wish I could have more time." Aragorn's eyes lowered to the ground. He could not look the elf in the eyes.

"You know in your heart, Estel, that the more time you are given, the more time you will wish for. A day would never be enough. It is best that I go now." Aragorn nodded sadly at his friend's words understanding the truth that they held.

"Goodbye, mellon nin. You are the prissiest elf I've ever met, but the bravest one I've ever known," Aragorn said, his voice cracking.

Legolas laughed at his friend's words…the last laugh Aragorn would ever hear. His eyes shined with sadness but there was a happiness that danced across the blue depths.

"You are the most stubborn human I have ever had the pleasure of befriending. And for that I thank you. With you, there was never a dull moment. Don't ever change."

"I'll never forget you."

"I would not have it any other way, mellon nin. Namarie. Until next we meet."

With that, Legolas's figure faded from his sight, and a caressing breeze blew across Aragorn's face. He felt as though the pieces of his heart had somehow found a way to come together again. The pain would heal over time and leave scars that reminded him of what was missing. But he smiled in spite of it. _"Scars make us who we are. It shows us where we have been and what we have learned. They contain memories that are never forgotten…memories of good and bad, but moments to _live_ by nonetheless."_

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"Estel! Estel, are you well, ion nin?" Elrond asked in concern, shaking his son's shoulder. Aragorn looked around in confusion as though pulled from a dream. He was still sitting with his knees to his chest in the middle of the clearing. Legolas was nowhere to be seen and there was no evidence that he had ever been there. He looked back at his father, his eyes brighter than they had been since his friend's death.

"I am better, ada. What happened?"

"I was worried when you failed to return after you had run off at breakfast this morning. I was content to leave you alone for a while, but when that while turned into two hours, I searched for you. When I could not find you in the house, I knew there was only one place that you would go. The last place you saw Legolas alive. It has been, after all, where you have been disappearing to every night for the past three months. When I came near, I heard sobbing and screaming and my heart ached to comfort you. I ran as quickly as I could, but when I got here, you were in some sort of trance. I tried to awaken you, but I could not. I was worried when you still cried, but no sound escaped your lips. What happened, ion nin," Elrond asked worriedly. He thought that maybe his son had finally broken when he found the man so unresponsive.

"I saw Legolas," He stated simply. He saw Elrond's anxiety grow even more, so he continued. "I am not crazy, ada. At least I don't think I am. It might have been a dream, but it felt so real. I--I was sitting here and Legolas came to me. He comforted me, and told me that he wanted me to live. My heart always knew he was dead, but I refused to believe it. And he--" Seeing that he was rambling and that there was too much to explain and too much that he wanted to keep to himself, Aragorn said simply, "He came to knock some sense into me."

Elrond sighed in relief and was glad. It did not matter if what Aragorn said was real or not, he could see in his son's eyes that his spirit had returned. He sent a silent prayer to the Valar and thanked Legolas, for he knew that if it was possible, the blonde elf would have found a way to come back and help his best friend. Elrond always believed that the two friends had a bond stronger than death, and it seemed that he was right.

"I'm sorry, ada. I'm sorry for everything," Aragorn said finally trying to change the subject so his father would not think him mad.

"No, ion nin, you need not apologize. Legolas' death has done much to change this family. Grief comes in many forms, and it was wrong of me to pressure you into dealing with his death in a way that was uncomfortable for you."

"I still think I should apologize for not thinking of how much his death affected you, Elladan, and Elrohir. I really need to apologize to Erestor, too," Aragorn added as the memory of that morning came back to him.

"Perhaps you should, but worry not. Erestor holds no grudge. I think he was more worried for you than hurt by your words," Elrond said as he tried to assuage some of his son's guilt. Aragorn understood and smiled at his father…the first real smile since the death of his best friend.

"I think it's time to go home, ada."

"I think it's about time, too."

Father and son walked side by side through the forest leaving the small clearing behind them. Aragorn stopped for one second and turned around taking one last lingering look at the spot where Legolas had stood. He laughed softly and shook his head. Elrond cast a curious look at his son. Aragorn smiled. "Legolas said that in death he is grateful for one thing." Elrond looked at his son expectantly. "He will never have to drink that awful tea of yours again." Elrond's face changed to mock anger in a matter of seconds, and his son quickly ran through the forest hoping to avoid his father's 'wrath'.

"He's lucky he's dead or I'd kill him," Elrond muttered to himself as he made his way after his son, his eyes laughing all the way.

Legolas watched the two leave knowing that all would be well in the house of Elrond. There was a strength there that not even death could diminish. Feeling blissful that he had helped his friend, he knew his duty was finished. _'It is indeed time to go home.'_

The End

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Thanks for all who reviewed and who read this story. Any thoughts or ideas about it would much appreciated. You know you want to review; ) 


	5. Epilogue

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

A/N: I know it's been awhile, but I wanted to add a little epilogue to tie up some loose ends. Thanks for everyone who stuck with this story and who reviewed. Enjoy!

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As the weeks passed, everything seemed to have finally reverted back to normal. Aragorn apologized to his brothers copiously as soon as they returned from their hunting trip. They were glad to see that their brother had finally found peace and was able to let Legolas go, but they also knew that the man was not fully healed and probably never would be. A part of Aragorn died that day, and it was false to believe that he would be the same man he always was. But Elladan and Elrohir accepted that truth and treated their brother as they always did, trying to help him forget the past and live for the future without the support of his best friend.

Erestor surprised the human by wrapping him in a big hug as soon as Aragorn apologized to him for his offending outburst that happened that dreadful morning. Aragorn explained that the prepared breakfast was one of Legolas' favorites and it was served the morning that they left on their tragic hunting trip. The elf smiled in understanding but refused to accept an apology that was unnecessary. Lord Elrond was indeed correct that Erestor held no anger towards the young man. He worried more about him than Aragorn ever realized.

Aragorn seemed to be coping rather quickly as he began accepting the fact that Legolas was not going to be there to help him in a battle, to prank his twin brothers, or to just lend an ear and listen to his human worries. Some days were better than others, of course, but he was much healthier than he had been before. There were still lines on his world-weary face that would probably never fully fade, but there were no longer dark bags under his eyes from frightful nightmares of his friend's demise. He attended meals again, joked around with his brothers, and continued to practice his sparring with Glorfindel. It seemed that all was well again.

Despite his moves forward, there was never a passing day that Legolas did not fill his mind. Elrond found his son on many early mornings blankly staring at the rising sun, sometimes as silent tears rolled down his cheeks. It was almost as if each new morning served as one more day that Aragorn would be parted from his best friend. It was one more day from the moment he said goodbye. Elrond thought better than to disturb his son knowing full well the embarrassment the man would feel at being caught daydreaming and crying in the early morning hours lost in an endless ocean of memories of their times together. He needed this time; it was what got him through each day. Reminiscing helped him deal with the absence and enjoy the rest of his time living a normal life. He had to remember since he couldn't forget, and morning was the ideal time to be undisturbed by any innocent onlooker. Elrond knew his son would be alright with time, so he left the man to himself.

* * *

One year to the day that Legolas passed from their world, Aragorn found himself kneeling in that very clearing where the elf was lost. He brought with him a single arrow from Legolas' quiver and embedded it deep within the ground as a marker. He refused to make it a grave site with a stone, because to Aragorn, the place was his and his alone. As pathetic as that was, it was his special place and the last place he saw Legolas both alive and dead. A few stray tears tracked down his cheeks, but his composure remained intact. He bowed his heads and said a soft, elvish prayer, before standing up to leave.

"I'll miss you, mellon nin," he whispered to the empty clearing. "I think it's time for me to move on now. I know that's what you would have wanted. I'm sorry it took me so long to realize it. A day does not go by that I don't think about you. Every morning I watch the sun rise, and the grief washes over me again. Knowing that you will never be there again to tell me when I'm being stupid, or to call me names, or to drag me back wounded and sick to my father…it becomes too much sometimes. I just wanted to you to know that…to know that I'll never forget you. I think…I've learned that maybe not every morning is another day apart, but rather, just one more day closer to our next meeting. Rest in peace, gwador nin. I love you."

Aragorn turned his back for one last time to the place that had held so much of his life for so long a time. Everything had revolved around that night. His mind was constantly consumed with the memories that were associated with that very clearing. But now, a weight had been lifted, and he took in a deep breath feeling lighter than he'd ever felt. Perhaps, he could move on completely. A part of him was still out there in that clearing, but he found that his heart was not beyond repair.

Aragorn had finally let go. He allowed himself to live his life again without his early morning vigils and the memories of old. He'd finally said goodbye to sleepless nights of darkened dreams, and found comfort in the notion that they would meet again if only in his heart.


End file.
